[life] Because the internet isn't working right now

Memos, inspired by thestalkycop

TO: Brain
FROM: Fingers, all inclusive
SUBJECT: Loss
So cold will fall off soon if you don't stop trying to type and fix the internet. Please cease and desist.

TO: Fingers, all
FROM: Attention Span
SUBJECT: Memo to Brain
I am the shortest thing about the Host. I must be entertained. Keep up the slightly ok work, and please stop spamming the brain.

TO: Attention Span
FROM: Fingers, all
SUBJECT: RE: Memo to Brain
Grow. You're not the one in danger. Find something warmer to entertain self.

TO: Fingers, all
FROM: Attention Span
SUBJECT: RE: RE: Memo to Brain
Please shut up now. And turn up the heat if you're so cold.

TO: Brain, Legs, Hands, Arms, Feet and Balance
FROM: Fingers, all
SUBJECT: Heat
Hate to admit that attention span is right, but--it has a point. Turn up the heat, and we'll keep typing. You can all work together, we've seen it happen before. Get us to the thermostat, and we'll take care of the rest.

TO: Fingers, all
FROM: Balance
SUBJECT: RE: Heat
Automatic Response: Balance is on medical leave. Will return once dizzy spells pass.

TO: Fingers, all
FROM: Feet
SUBJECT: RE: Heat
We're resting now. You try walking back and forth and back and forth, around and around that stupid store, in shoes that are too big and have no arch support. All you do is hold books and type, and you do that anyway. Please keep all requests for more work to yourself in the future, or we might have to kick you.

TO: Feet
FROM: Fingers, all
SUBJECT: RE: RE: Heat
Ha, ha, ha. We're all the way up here. You can't get us.

TO: Feet
FROM: Fingers, all
SUBJECT: Ouch
Ouch. Stop that.

TO: Legs
FROM: Fingers, all
SUBJECT: Flexibility
When did you get so flexible? And please note that the feet are abusing your new found agility.

TO: Fingers, all
FROM: Legs
SUBJECT: Ha ha ha
We saw your memo to feet. You encouraged the attack. We will do nothing to stop this war. First step, the fingers, and then, the Host, and then--the WORLD!

TO: Brain
FROM: Fingers, all
SUBJECT: Mutiny
Brain, we have a problem here. Please respond asap before we lose control to the nether regions.

TO: Fingers, all
FROM: Brain
SUBJECT: RE: Loss
Automatic Response: The Brain and the Heart are taking a much needed vacation together. They left a few days before the Host, because the Heart is sore and the Brain wants to help cheer it up. Please forward all important messages to the Conscience, which is in charge while they are gone. This is a trial run after the placement of a new Conscience.

TO: Conscience
FROM: Fingers, all
SUBJECT: Help
Please ... help ... us ....

TO: Fingers, all
FROM: Conscience
SUBJECT: Help Me
The Brain said you would help. Am having trouble controlling the Creativity and the Lust. Need reinforcements. Send message. ASAP.

TO: Legs
FROM: Feet
SUBJECT: Congratulations
First step accomplished. Brain and Heart gone, Conscience overrun, Fingers, all, trapped. It's kind of hard typing with the Toes, so what say you to taking off for bed and warmth?

TO: All
FROM: Host
SUBJECT: Please bugger off
I'd like to be writing right now, but since you're all busy with your own things--what am I saying? Give me back my body! I want to write! I want my freedom! I want to li--

TO: das_hydra
FROM: Muse
SUBJECT: Weekend
Seems I won't be needed here. Can I borrow your muse again? I promise to pay for all the alcohol and smokes this time around. And we'll even come back at a decent time Sunday. In fact, come along, we always have more fun when you come with us. I'm on my way, now.

End transmission