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seeksadventure
Still following Seanan McGuire's Lover's Chain tutorial. The second step is the couplet, two lines of rhymed poetry. As Seanan suggests, I'm trying to avoid more standard rhymes, such as love and dove, eye and die and lie, etc.
As I mentioned yesterday, I'm writing my Lover's Chain to horror stories, or more particularly, as I decided last night, watching clouds over the moon, to a monstrous final girl.
With that in mind, I still want to avoid what I think are more common rhymes along this theme, so I don't want to end a line on moon or sky. This may prove difficult, considering the imagery and tone I started with in the compliment focuses on the moon: The moon rises, bright and full, and with it comes peace. This feels like an end to a final girl's story, and if that's where I'm beginning this courtship with her, I'll need to go back and capture some of the more complicated concepts of her story. Later steps in the Lover's Chain use more complicated poetry forms. Both of these thoughts are things I'm keeping in mind as I work on the couplet.
Based on Seanan's example, the couplet is a great place to expand upon the imagery that will be threaded throughout the rest of the poems. Brainstorming final girl words include blood, fight, death, monster, transformation.
First attempt:
Blood-soaked, broken, you escaped your death;
come with me, darling, rest, catch your breath.
I like pieces of this, but not the pacing itself. Plus I want the tone to better capture the awe I feel for the final girl. She's amazing. She's strong. She's won, but at what cost?
Second attempt:
Bloody, bruised, you escape death;
Come, darling, rest, catch your breath.
I like this better. It's tighter, flows better, and better captures that sheer shock and awe of her survival. This final girl will show you something new.
Lover's Chain
The moon rises, bright and full, and with it comes peace.
Bloody, bruised, you escape death;
Come, darling, rest, catch your breath.
As I mentioned yesterday, I'm writing my Lover's Chain to horror stories, or more particularly, as I decided last night, watching clouds over the moon, to a monstrous final girl.
With that in mind, I still want to avoid what I think are more common rhymes along this theme, so I don't want to end a line on moon or sky. This may prove difficult, considering the imagery and tone I started with in the compliment focuses on the moon: The moon rises, bright and full, and with it comes peace. This feels like an end to a final girl's story, and if that's where I'm beginning this courtship with her, I'll need to go back and capture some of the more complicated concepts of her story. Later steps in the Lover's Chain use more complicated poetry forms. Both of these thoughts are things I'm keeping in mind as I work on the couplet.
Based on Seanan's example, the couplet is a great place to expand upon the imagery that will be threaded throughout the rest of the poems. Brainstorming final girl words include blood, fight, death, monster, transformation.
First attempt:
Blood-soaked, broken, you escaped your death;
come with me, darling, rest, catch your breath.
I like pieces of this, but not the pacing itself. Plus I want the tone to better capture the awe I feel for the final girl. She's amazing. She's strong. She's won, but at what cost?
Second attempt:
Bloody, bruised, you escape death;
Come, darling, rest, catch your breath.
I like this better. It's tighter, flows better, and better captures that sheer shock and awe of her survival. This final girl will show you something new.
Lover's Chain
The moon rises, bright and full, and with it comes peace.
Bloody, bruised, you escape death;
Come, darling, rest, catch your breath.