Living a Life I Don't Know How to Live

No, no, I am not planning a wedding. You haven't missed any big announcement. I was talking to cabell about her wedding planning and during the course of the conversation, I was struck by the idea that people seem to be very willing to (negatively) critique other people's wedding plans, more so than a lot of things(1), and I'd like to figure out why.

Cabell and I mused on this for awhile, and I like the theory (or theories) we ended up with, but I'd like your thoughts, too, since a lot of you have more experience with these things than I do.

I will share an excerpt from our discussion:

Cabell: I think the problem is I keep telling people things I plan to do. Clearly that is a mistake.
Carla: Yes, I am starting to think so. Though understandable! I mean, you're excited! You want to share! That's a good thing. It seems a lot of times, people are more willing to negatively critique wedding plans than other things, too.
Cabell: Yeah, I think you're right. The problem is when I say I'm going to do anything that has a traditional history. Like, when I say "I'm getting married in the desert in a red dress," THAT'S fine and no one can argue with me because there's no precedent. But as soon as I do anything that anyone ever did before, everyone has an extremely strong opinion.
Carla: While normally I support people sharing opinions with their friends, etc., I do think that for something so personal as a wedding, there should be some filters in place. Though maybe that's part of the problem; I don't know that weddings are actually seen as a personal thing anymore.
More of a public space.

So what do you guys think? Are weddings treated more as a public space than a personal event? As in, they're less for the couple getting married and more for everyone else? I'm intrigued by this, but would like to hear other thoughts.

(1) Raising children is a similar exception, I think, though I can't speak about it from experience, either.

I've been quiet in January, haven't I? If it's true, that the way you spend that first day of the new year is the way you'll spend the rest of the year, I won't be writing here much, and I'm going to have a ton of horrid customers every time I turn around.

Nothing much of note has happened. I've been at work all weekend, and I go back for three more days this week, and then I have a vacation. An unnecessary one, because I took the days off at the beginning of the week to go to my godchildren's baptism, but it's now been changed, and not only do I not know if I'll be able to get off for the new date, but now I have a whole week's vacation before I ever wanted to take it.

However, I need the vacation, and I plan on finishing the novel, so it won't be all wrong.

I'm meeting with cabellicious tonight, and I'm giddy about it. Frighteningly so, and you'd think I never get out anymore, which, actually, I don't. But again, vacation in less than a week, so maybe I'll get out more then.

The other reason I took some days off is the fact that Jake has some family coming into the area, his sister I know for certain. He may take off for a few days and go visit some other family with her, and if so, I'll be here, all by myself and without a car. And I'm actually thrilled about the idea. I'll be just as happy if he stays here, though.

I think I'm mostly just excited about days and days of just writing and puttering around the house.

So far, in January, I've written over sixty-five hundred words. I've been meeting my daily goal, more or less, and I'm pleased with what I'm writing, mostly. The new goal is fifteen hundred words a day for thirty-one days, which means that January's goal is forty-six thousand five hundred words. Here's hoping I make my goal this time, though unofficially, I want to finish the novel over my vacation, and then start the serious editing.

Nothing much has changed at work. Last night was the first time we've slowed down in weeks, and though it was a much needed respite, there is still so much to do, and our district manager will be down on January 21. (Providing he actually shows up this time, which is doubtful, but slightly more likely than usual, because this is the after-Christmas reset.)

They've also added a new lead (our bargain worker, Ryan, is now an official lead), and so switched almost everyone around. My old section was split up between Ryan and Joe, because physically, parts of it are close to parts of both of their old sections, so Ryan took gift and calendars off my hands (along with the Wall, which covers home improvement, gardening, photography, art, and architecture) and Joe took the back half of my section (pets, poetry, cooking, music, entertainment, business, computers, nature, and science). I've been moved across the store, to the section that hasn't had a lead in almost a year and a half, now, and have fiction (including new releases, bestsellers, westerns, literary analysis, and mythology), health, medicine, history, political science, sociology, biography, romance, science fiction, graphic novels, travel, and law. I'm actually rather excited; no more stress over fifty displays going up in one day, and I get to reset sections that haven't been worked on in months. I'm happiest when I'm cleaning up other people's problems. Also, someone would have had to be trained over my section anyway, before I left, so better that the transfer takes place while I'm still here.

Besides, law! Sci fi/fantasy! Graphic novels! I have the coolest section in the store. Woo.

I need to get off of here and get cleaned up. I wasn't able to finish Cabell's Christmas present, so I'm going to have to mail it to her late, but still, mail is good, no matter how late it is. Or so I hope, because many of you have belated gifts coming your way, too.

I really need to move away from these days off doing nothing but spending time with Jake and writing, though those are two wonderful things to do. I just wish work didn't interfere so much.

6,500 / 46,500 (13.0%)

Found via cabellicious and originated by crisper, I believe:

January 27, 2005 is LiveJournal Rabbit-Hole Day "Let's have a day where nobody's life makes sense anymore, where any random LJ you click on will bring you some strange new tale. Let's all fall down the Rabbit Hole for 24 hours and see what's there. It will be beautiful."

January 27th is the birthday of Lewis Carrol, author of ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND. Alice fell down a rabbit hole into a place where everything had changed and none of the rules could be counted on to apply anymore. I say, let's do the same: January 27th, 2005 should be the First Annual LiveJournal Rabbit Hole Day. When you post on that Thursday, instead of the normal daily life and work and news and politics, write about the strange new world you have found yourself in for the day, with its strange new life and work and news and politics. Are your pets talking back at you now? Has your child suddenly grown to full adulthood? Does everyone at work think you're someone else now? Did Bush step down from the White House to become a pro-circuit tap-dancer? Did Zoroastrian missionaries show up on your doorstep with literature in 3-D? Have you been placed under house arrest by bizarre insectoid women wielding clubs made of lunchmeat?

Let's have a day where nobody's life makes sense anymore, where any random LJ you click on will bring you some strange new tale. Let's all fall down the Rabbit Hole for 24 hours and see what's there. It will be beautiful.

This is just a few days before my own birthday, so maybe I'll try to make that a surreal story time. I don't know if I'm doing anything for my birthday or not, besides writing, that is. Writing is my life, these days, and I rather like it.

I've made some resolutions, but I have no time right now. Maybe I'll talk about them tomorrow after work.

And if I do spend the rest of the year doing what I did on New Years Day, I'll be pleased, because I wrote my goal and spent time with my friends and laughed a lot, and how much more can I ask for in life?"

The novel has broken sixty thousand words. Woo.